Wednesday, May 14, 2014
EVIDENCE AT LAST! May 12, 2014
What a mistake!
Perhaps it was during a quick get-away that the perpetrators left something behind. Perhaps it was during a crime attempt that our perps left behind the evidence found by Chief Langseth.
Whatever the cause – the evidence was left, to be found by our eagle-eyed law enforcement officer. The evidence was small, about 1” long, weighing almost nothing. Lesser trained eyes would have missed it entirely. Small, true, but big in terms of solving the crime.
The perpetrators had left behind a mobile phone. Precursor to the cell phone, the mobile phone appears to hold definitive clues as to the identity of the perpetrators. There has been much speculation as to the identity of the perpetrators. A random sampling of elementary students over the past few weeks has resulted in two people topping the head of the suspect list: Chief Langseth himself, and Adrian Elementary School Librarian, Sherrilyn Klaassen. With the evidence on the mobile phone, it appears that neither one is the true culprit.
Some wondered: are the culprits the Library staff? Are Meredith Vaselaar, Librarian, Joan Johnson, Library Page, and Alpharetta Palaschak, Library Clerk, responsible for the chaos? Nay. None of the library ladies will be charged with the crimes.
Who, then, is responsible for these heinous deeds?
For the rest of the week, Chief Langseth will be analyzing the data that will be mined from the mobile phone. Langseth will be on his own in uncovering the secrets of the phone. (Despite repeated attempts to enlist the assistance of Homeland Security, the NSA, the FBI, the CIA, and Guy Noir, Langseth has come to the disturbing realization that the Adrian Branch Library Crime Spree of 2014 does not warrant national aid. No matter, Langseth has made it thus far on his own, and has vowed to solve the crime using just the members of his own small police department.)
The evidence culled from the mobile phone will be presented at the Adrian Elementary School on Tuesday afternoon, May 20. By that time, Langseth plans to have photos from the phone ready for display to an eager crowd. Shortly after the public presentation, a few evidentiary photos, identifying the perpetrators, will be posted online on the official crime spree blog site: http://adrianbranchlibrary.blogspot.com/