Tuesday, March 18, 2014

THE GOOD NEWS AND THE BAD NEWS March 17, 2014

 
 

What a wonderful St. Patrick’s Dad it was for the staff at the Adrian Branch Library!  When the staff arrived, they found their old tape dispenser sitting atop the circulation desk.  Ah! Joy! Rapture! Bliss!  The happiness of the staff and its trusted tape dispenser could not be described in words alone. 

The joy was somewhat dampened by the realization that the tape dispenser was too traumatized by its ordeal to complete its final two weeks of work.  The tape dispenser has been officially retired and is resting comfortably amongst its friends, including the stapler, the three-hole-puncher, the ruler, and Ralph. 

This is all good news.

What about the bad news?

The Library staff was shocked (albeit ecstatic) by the return of the tape dispenser.  They were NOT, however, shocked to see that another gruesome crime had taken place.

Those dastardly perpetrators had defaced revered Library property.  In what was a true act of vicious vandalism, those turgid terrors took it upon themselves to add tasteless illustrations to a photo of the erstwhile comely Librarians.

Malicious? Yes.  Baneful? Of course!  Beyond abominable? ABSOLUTELY!

Chief of Police Shawn Langseth scrutinized the photo and had this to say, “I noted that the illustrators were not particularly gifted.  I have to say that it is bad enough that the photograph was marred, but for the perpetrators to have done such a poor job?  That is truly contemptible!”

Chief Langseth is asking for the public’s help in keeping an eye out for possible suspects.  “I think it is safe to ignore seasoned graffiti-artists in this case,” says Langseth, “I believe we are looking for someone who does not have a lot of experience in public doodling.”