Tuesday, March 11, 2014



Librarian Meredith Vaselaar entered the Adrian Branch Library on Monday morning, March 10, hoping to find that the old tape dispenser had been returned. Alas! That hope was dashed.  Not surprisingly, there was another mess: a scattering of books on the story time carpet.  No footprints, no fingerprints, no stray piece of lint to be found. 

But there was something else found, something so disturbing, so diabolical, as to shock even this poor reporter.

The kidnappers had left a single photograph on the circulation desk. 

Why was the photograph so shocking? It appears that the perpetrators had photographed the library’s tape dispenser in front of the article about its disappearance as printed on page 2 in the February 26, 2014, issue of the “Nobles County Review.” 

Chief of Police Shawn Langseth was called in to investigate this latest development.  “As this photograph indicates, the tape dispenser is still viable,” says Langseth, “but we have no idea how long this will be the case.”  The message was clear, however:  either give in to the kidnappers’ demands of candy, or never see the tape dispenser again. 

This proved to be too much for Librarian Vaselaar.  “We MUST give in to their unreasonable and selfish demands!” said she, “We simply cannot go on like this!”  Against his better judgment, Chief Langseth agreed to step aside to allow the Librarian to take matters into her own hands.  “We will fulfill the perpetrators’ demands,” says Vaselaar, “I know we don’t have the budget to provide unlimited supplies of sweets for these criminals, but we can’t afford not to!”

A plan is in place for Saturday, March 15.  On that day, after closing, the Librarian will leave unmarked, non-sequential, miniature candy bars in the Library treat basket on the circulation desk.  The secret hidden camera housed behind the desk (a Kiwi-shoe-polish-can pin-hole camera, cleverly concealed as an Andy Warhol style sculpture --- pretty much the best the Library could afford during these tough economic times) is set to capture any nefarious activity that might take place over the weekend. 

The Chief of Police, as well as Library staff, is asking the public to keep its collective eyes open for any out-of-the-ordinary suspicious activity in or near the Adrian Branch Library.